New Year’s resolutions usually are like some of those promises that are meant to be broken.
A very small, handful number of people complete the resolutions they set out for at the start of the new year. Not being able to successfully complete goals you set for yourself can be daunting and could set you up for a deeper mental impact than you imagine.
The word ‘New’ in the new year, puts a lot of pressure on starting over and turning a new leaf. But you must remember you cannot just become a different person overnight when the clock strikes 12. Change is a difficult process – the key words being ‘difficult’ and ‘process’. To make this harder, if you are already suffering from depression or any other form of mental stress or illness, the failure to adhere to the previous year’s resolutions can cause even more self-harm. Instead of making resolutions that cause you stress, anxiety or more pain, set out this year by making resolutions that will encourage self care.
To start fresh this New Year’s Day, here are a few tips setting realistic new years’ resolutions in order to avoid the burden of disappointment next year.
1. Choose a very specific goal
Making vague plans like “Lose weight”, “exercise more” or “write more” are goals with no teeth. They are vague plans and desires, and are very easy to explain away due to how vague they are. Instead set goals like “Exercise 20 minutes every day”, “lose 15 pounds” or “write 1000 words everyday”. Such goals with a certain task weightage, are much more doable than vague goals.
2. Make a pathway to reach that goal
Once you have chosen your goal/s, make a very detailed plan of how you will reach that goal. Having a plan and a pathway can help you visualize your progress and won’t make you impatient for immediate results. That way you will have already visualize what progress would look like for you in say, 3 months, 5 months, 7 months or every day depending on your goals.
3. Set rewards to motivate yourself
Setting small rewards like ‘going for a relaxing spa’ upon completion of 2 months of the goal can serve as incentives to progress with the goal. You don’t need to just restrict yourself to a grand prize reward for completing the goal because if due to some unforeseen circumstances you are unable to reach the goal, it can cause a lot of self-doubt and disappointment. Also, often we tend to devalue rewards that we must wait for, for a long time. This is known as delay discounting. The longer it is until you will receive the reward, the less you value it. To avoid this, set up small rewards for yourself and that way you will stay motivated throughout.
4. Avoid tempting situations
In the beginning when you are learning self-control, avoid situations that put you in the way of temptations. So, if you know you have no control over how much sugar you consume, don’t meet your friends at the new fancy bakery that just opened up next door. Avoid situations like these at least in the beginning and slowly you will have enough self-control to confront your temptations in such scenarios.
5. Get yourself a social tribe
In today’s social media world, it is easy to find a group of like-minded individuals interested in sharing your goal. Get yourself a social group like this. However, just as there is this bright side to having a social tribe, the pitfall is the pressure. Don’t get consumed by social media and what others are doing. Remember you have this group only for support, not for comparison.
6. Accept failure and forgive yourself
Despite all your efforts, it is possible that you might fail or slip up. Accept this failure; own it and forgive yourself. Being harsh on yourself will only do you more harm so instead learn from what went wrong and instead of bailing on the resolution at the end of next year, see it through until you reach your goal.
